FEAR ~ between you and sucess

What do you fear? 
How does it change your life? 
Where does it come from? 
Who decided it was scary?
Who gave it the power to control your life?

Simple and answer is 'You DID, I did, we each manufactured our fear.'  From learning as a child to experiencing as an adult we developed our FEAR.






I have often said to myself that if I fail to try I have already failed.  By not asking, the answer is already a NO.  I have found how surprising and comforting a known NO is to the option of a possible YES.  I am an artist and I find getting my art out in the world hard.  I find I let the fear hold me back from painting and marketing my work.

I fear life.  I fear living.  I fear success. I fear being me.  I know I am not alone in my fears.  I have confronted some and left others alone.  I have found how to love myself but I still have fear.  Life is not just black and white, right or wrong.  Life is a force of its own.  Some let it drag them along, while others take control.

I want that that control.  I want that courage.  Fear has held me back to long.  It is my time to shine.  My time to take the first step.  The hardest step.  The step to conquer fear and seek the YES instead of settling for the no.

I know I am not alone.  So together lets face our fear and see through the falsity of it.  Be blessed and be courageous.  We can all win, we can all find our YES!

Name One thing you can't live without...

The other day a friend posted a meme that said 'in one word tell me what you could not live without'...

 

I was amazed how many people picked God, Jesus, Faith, Hope, and other religious words as the One thing they could not live without.  I said Paint!    Looking back I can see why some could have thought my answer was materialistic.  But after several more people added their own words I started to wonder if they actually believed what they listed or if they all just drank the Kool-Aid.

I was the only person who wrote something not religious/spiritual.  But once I thought more about my answer I should have said ART!  

Art is a part of who I am.  I could not live without art.  It is how I express myself and connect to creation.  Art is what keeps me sane and expresses my deepest thoughts.  Whether it is drawing, painting, or gathering inspiration from looking at nature or artist's works; art is a large part of me. Art is what connects me to God and to myself...so I guess by listing paint I was saying the same thing as the rest =) Maybe I drank the kool-aid too.

So what can you not live without?

The Glad Game...we all should play!

I have noticed that when we age we forget how to play.  As children we make games full of imagination, but as adults we are so serious - WHY?  I think if we remember how to play then the world would be a kinder place.  So as of today lets play the Glad Game!

What is the Glad Game, you might ask.  It is the game of finding something to be glad for no matter what the situation.  Some might remember it featured in the Disney movie 'Pollyanna'.  Sort of like counting your blessings or finding the silver lining.

My son was having some very angry days so I would ask him to list all the things he enjoyed or was thankful for when he was boiling mad.  At first he would start out grumpy then it would ease and by the time he had listed about ten things he would relax.  The more he thought about things he was GLAD for the better he felt.  Concentrating on the good changed his whole day and how he treated others. 

In my own life I have seen magical changes just by playing.  I was in a rut, depressed, over weight, and a huge lack of caring about anything.  It affected everything in my life.  Then I remembered how to play.  I started looking for the good.  I started listing the good in my life and being thankful.  Of course it did not fix everything but it did change how I look at things.  Playing gave me HOPE, AMBITION, and HAPPINESS.

When you are happy then the world is a different place; it is magical!  Open your eyes, heart, and mind and you too can find the magic in your world.  No matter who you are there is always some thing to be GLAD for. 

Start a revolution in your life, family, and town.  Spread the GLAD GAME!

Death in the family

Recently a family member passed away.  It has brought up many a question for me.

1.  Why is this person now considered 'PERFECT'?

 I mean the person in question was a decent human for many years.  She had faults but some how death erased all of them. It boggles my mind that events are now changed in how they happened to fit this new idea that she never did wrong. She became greedy and bitter toward the end but no one remembers it now that she is gone. Death should not change facts of how you treated family at any given time in ones life. 

2.  Why do people get bitter later in life?

This has happened to several people I know.  They seem happy then one day BOOM they hate the world and want to screw everyone who is still happy.  I guess when you tell so many lies (as the person in question) it is hard to remember the truth.  It must all get so mixed up - so maybe that is why they are bitter, no one really got to meet the true person and now time is running out.  They made their own choices and decided how to handle their own life so why be so bitter.  Life is what we choose to make it and our attitudes toward events in it.  So there it is.

3.  Why do others choose to pick up past quarrels and continue to attack family for wrongs that should have been gone once one of the parties where gone?

Can't we all just get along?!  I mean really why be so pig headed.  Point in fact the remaining person in this particular situation has dropped it.  They just want to grieve the loss of a family member and go on with life...but they have been shunned instead.  Mean things said on both sides...I just don't get why others are now involved and continuing a fight which has nothing to do with them.  It was nothing personal just business transactions gone wrong so it should not include family not involved with the business.

4.  Will this happen when I die?

Will I become a saint in the eyes of the family?  I sure as heck hope NOT!  I live my life as I choose and am happy being brutally honest.  It might not make me friends in the family, but the truth has to be spoken or it is forgotten. I want people to remember me as I was, not what they want me to be or just for the good.  It is the whole of my life that made me not just the sunny days. 

Oh there are so many more questions but these are the top ones. When I pass on hopefully some one has the guts to say the truth.  Having a PhD in bitchology (the art of pissing people off by telling the truth) may not be my greatest life achievement but is still part of what makes me, ME; so why not remember it and celebrate my life after I am gone with the good and the bad!  Because that is what will make up my whimsical life.  BLESSINGS!

Paint a stripe he said....

Here is the tale of an idea gone astray.   'Why don't you paint a stripe' my husband said.  Being and artist who can not draw let alone paint a straight line it seemed to be a doomed project from the start.  But here was the plan and how it turned out:

So to re cap....NEVER ask an artist to paint a 'stripe' especially when you know she tends to doodle on walls =) 

Be Blessed!

Life with Mary

Hello! It is amazing what I find myself getting into and projects I start.  I am an artist, a cowgirl, a lover of magic and dragons, an old soul with a fun heart, and most of all ME!  It has taken 30 plus years but I finally LOVE MYSELF.  

How did I get here you might ask?! Well it took many hours of  'self searching'.  Yep, that is right - not soul searching as many say they do, but SELF searching.  Why should I look for my soul? I know where it is.  It is where it has always been.  But who I am, my self, has been hidden.

I have tried to be what everyone else wants me to be.  I have worn an obedient mask and hidden myself away locked deep inside my mind. If you know me you would know that there is always a movie playing in the back of my head....I know crazy but that is me. I  go there; to my happy place when in pain or when I just need to escape reality.

Like many I have an inner kingdom.  My own flight of fancy and magical place only I go and the imaginary beings I create there.  On a side note these beings and people come out in my art.  Just like my paintings, they are a part of me.

In this kingdom there was a small house.  A dark house filled with gloom where all the scary things can hide.  Trapped in this house was a small girl.  She was held captive not by bars but by her own fears.  Mostly her fear of acceptance.  You see there was no back wall on her room.  She huddled in the dark dreary place and looked out on to a sun filled meadow. 

She was scared of letting others down.   She was scared others would not like who she was.  She was scared she was not good enough to be a friend, sister, artist, or cowgirl.  At least hidden in her room nothing could hurt her.  She was alone but protected from life.  This is no way to live.  Trust me I was there for way to long.

So I forgave myself.  I forgave myself for believing what others said about me.  I forgave myself for hiding away who I am.  I forgave others for not seeing and loving me just because I am ME.  I took the hand of the little girl and led her out into the sunshine.  I freed myself from the prison, I had placed myself in.  Together we ran and played.  I introduced her to my other selves and creatures in my kingdom.  Then I did an amazing thing....

I gave her an art studio and gallery.  It sounds so simple but it was so freeing.  If you are into 'The Secret' book series, or similar teachings like magical path working.   You will understand; you can achieve only that which you have on the inside or in your inner kingdom.  I have found if I am stuck on a painting I give it up to God and the Universe to find the answer.  More times than not I go to the gallery in my world and the answer or finished painting is there for all to see.

I found my self inside me and set her free.  I accept me as I am and I love myself.  My blessing to you is that whomever reads this also finds themselves and loves who they find.  Remember your soul is always with you....it is your self that we sometimes loose.

Be Blessed and let your light shine!